


A Moment

by Lostfadingthoughts



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Tangent, Tenth Doctor x jack harkness, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:46:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27340699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lostfadingthoughts/pseuds/Lostfadingthoughts
Summary: There's an important turning point in the Doctor's life, a choice he hadn't even thought of as option. Jack barrels in to save the day but has he really? Set round the ending of episode "The End of Time Part Two", a bit alternate reality/tangent on the main show!
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	A Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Chapter 1! I may not update quite as often but I do have a mind where this fic will go so be prepared for a breather between chapters! As always, I love hearing from you guys so be sure to leave a comment and a kudos (if you liked it! :3 ) on your way out! :3

This was supposed to be his moment of triumph. 

He had beat Death once again. 

In all of his nine hundred and four years of life, no one else could say that. No one else could laugh like he did, pure joy exploding throughout his entire body, as if to rejuvenate himself solely with happiness. 

But moments of realization are just that, mere moments that happen in the blink of an eye. When the Doctor blinked the happiness inside twisted into fear, into doubt, into an unending life crisis that he’d had since the day he was aware of what it meant to exist in the universe. 

Someday he would die and that would be it. It would be final, and over time he would be forgotten, a story dying on the lips of the last lifeforms who knew him. 

Four knocks. 

Four tiny taps on the glass behind him and the world beneath the Doctor’s feet seemed to give way. He felt suspended above a giant void, a deep darkness waiting to envelope him in a final hug. His stomach churned deep within and his hearts almost beat out of sync. 

The Doctor lifted his head and turned ever so slowly to the man, to the wonderful man, that would end his existence. A life destined for moments like these. 

“They gone, then?”

A simple question, words so small yet looming so large over the room. It blanketed the Doctor in a quiet calm, a calm before the rising storm. 

Words. So many words. Words spoken in jest, in anger, in sorrow and pity. So many words spoken between the two that it felt so automatic, so linear and clear. A path stretched out over time converging and convulsing and pounding so loudly against the Doctor’s ears that he could barely hear what was being said from who and whomever. 

And then there’s shouting. So much shouting it feels as if he’s drowning in emotions and this is it. This is it and this is the end. 

That wonderful man will live and the Doctor is okay with it. He’s okay, he tells himself. He’s okay. Take that step, take another. Soon there will be no more steps to take but that’s okay. As long as others can take steps for him, steps toward the future, onward and upward, then it’s quite alright.

“Wilf-”

“DOCTOR! Don’t you dare!” A voice, one so familiar, shouted at him and suddenly the world turned upside down. All his cuts and bruises flared to life with pain that exploded throughout himself, and for a moment, a blink of an eye, his world changed again. 

Staring upward, the Doctor’s face contorted in confusion. This face, this familiar face stared down at him with a look he’d never seen before. Blue eyes drowning and spilling down reddened cheeks. Jack Harkness was above him and crying.

“Jack?” The Doctor asked when he remembered how to speak. “Jack?” He asked again, this time more loudly, more pronounced and more aware of the fact he’d been tackled to the floor and pinned beneath his friend.”Wha-”

“Don’t you dare step inside there, Doctor.” Jack can barely breath, his face red and his body shaking as if he’d run a mile to get there. He might actually have. The Doctor wasn’t exactly sure where Jack had dropped out of, where or when.

There was no time to wonder now though, as the sounds of the radiation were rising. 

He pushed Jack over and got to his feet. “You shouldn’t be here, go home Jack.”

Clambering to his feet, Jack grabbed a hold of the Doctor’s arm. “No, no you can’t go in there. You-”

“If I don’t, he will die.” He motioned towards Wilfred who stood watching this strange scene happen before him. The Doctor resumed and reached towards the door handle.

“No, you don’t understand. You don’t have to go in there.” Jack tried to catch his breath. “I’m here now.” 

Cogs clicked into place in the Doctor’s mind but he refused to think anymore on it, on the idea that salvation was right in front of him. “You’re not even supposed to be here. The Ood told me my destiny. It was foreseen, my death has been destined for me right here, right now.”

Jack moved between the Doctor and the glass door. Wilf watched on, worried about the rising radiation, worried about the men in front of him. “Screw destiny.” Jack said, his voice low and soft. 

The Doctor would have laughed, would have chuckled at the thought of Jack snuffing at destined paths, and somewhere in the back of his mind he’d wandered to a city he’d once saved, to a rumor and a myth who had given their life so that others may live. Just as Jack was doing now, only now it would be different.

He was being given a second chance, but at what cost? The Doctor knew better than anyone, knew that if things were meant to be it was for a larger purpose. He had no clue what he’d be sacrificing if he gave in to the idea.

He’d been gazing somewhere else but now he was looking at Jack, truly looking at him. Before he could stop himself, he whispered, “I’m scared.” And he was. Scared of dying, scared of inevitabilities so far out his control, scared of possibilities that may yield horrible outcomes. Scared of uncertainties. His destiny was certain, the Ood had said so themselves.

But Jack was here, something he hadn’t seen coming, an ever uncertainty of the man who could not die. The Ood had never mentioned him. They had been so resolute in their visions but what if they had been wrong?

Some things in time were fixed but sometimes they were in flux and though the Doctor could always tell when it was one or the other, he stood at a crossroads here and now. He knew better, he knew that it was wrong to mess with his own timeline, with anyone’s, but Jack was here. Jack had inserted himself, creating a new possibility, creating a new tangent in time and the Doctor could feel it.

To die or to live.

“I know.” Jack let go of the Doctor’s arm, his own hand falling gently to his side.

Holding their gaze, Jack backed up towards the door. He turned then and whipped his gaze to the other man as he opened the glass booth. With a click shut, Jack’s hand hovered over a large red button. “Go on.” He said to Wilf, nodding to him and towards his own door. 

Confused and looking about to the Doctor and back to the mystery man, Wilf hesitantly exited the booth. The moment he stepped outside, Jack smashed his palm on the button and the radiation began to flood the chamber. 

Wilf began to wonder if he’d done the right thing, leaving this young man to a painful death, but the Doctor stood next to him, unmoving and seemingly unattached to what was going on in front of them.

The Doctor had seen it a few times before, Jack dying, and always knew the time agent would be okay. The first time he had died seemed so long ago and to the Doctor’s horror now, insignificant. The moment he realized what Rose had done in resurrecting Jack, he’d run as far away as he could. 

It wasn’t just that Jack was too impossible to face, no, he’d been able to forgive the infraction of time long before their reunion. It was because the Doctor had chosen himself at that time, chosen to help Rose, to save Rose if only to save himself. He’d been so selfish, cleverly disguising it as help. Screw the world if it meant he’d be happy, happy with Rose, happy to be alive and traveling just as he always did.

No one was as important as her, as him and her until there was no him and her. Until there was just himself and he was left alone with his thoughts. Donna had helped pull him out, Donna, Martha, anyone else he’d met and helped along the way.

He couldn’t face Jack because he was afraid Jack would never forgive him.

**_It's not easy even just looking at you, Jack, because you're wrong._ **

Jack had crumbled to the floor of the chamber, rattled against the Vinvocci glass. He’d been suffering, absorbing a substance so deadly it affected every cell, every blood vessel, every nerve with so much overwhelming pain you’d pray for the never-ending sleep. But Jack simply groaned one last time and died.

Tears silently fell down the Doctor’s face. He hadn’t even realized it until Wilfred tugged on his arm, still so unsure of the situation. “Doctor?” He quietly asked, watching as the Doctor continued to stare at his friend.

He wouldn’t look away, he couldn’t. He had to make himself see, to see the choice he’d made, to see all of the choices he’d made affecting what had been destined so long ago. He wondered if the Ood would call on him again, if they had another prophecy of another death or if they’d be silent and disappointed.

Jack’s arm twitched to life, a shiver running through the rest of him as he sat up. Trying to catch his breath, he looked up to see the Doctor watching him. He could see him crying, crying for him. It made a different kind of sharp pain erupt inside Jack. He could feel it in his chest, in his heart. 

Slowly but surely, Jack stood. He pressed against the door for support but it had swung open and he fell forward out of the booth. Arms wrapped around him, gathering him up to offload some of his heavy burden. 

Brown eyes stared back into his own, beautiful brown eyes that beheld such sorrow and sadness and a life lived too long. Jack lost himself for a moment in those eyes, as if the room itself and anything else inside ceased to exist. All that was were beautiful brown eyes. 

The Doctor struggled to hold Jack, his body still severely sore from his grand entrance earlier. Wilfred noticed and helped take hold of Jack, of this man who could die and wake up alive. 

Together, all three men took careful steps back to the place the Doctor had hidden the Tardis, neither speaking or making noise beyond grunts of pain or frustration. The Doctor had so much to say, to ask of Jack but it was more important to leave, to get Wilf home to his family. 

He could do that, he could be the one to return this wonderful man to a family that loved him. He could have died for good in that glass booth, or per chance boost a regeneration. Either way, as he told Wilfred, this person he was now would cease to exist, equal to dying. 

But Jack had saved the day, swooping in out of nowhere in his trademark way to be the hero and the Doctor was still here, this version of the Doctor was still here. He felt his choice echo down the hall as they trudged onward, Jack becoming lighter in his arms as stability returned. He wanted to let go, let Jack walk on his own but something inside kept telling him to hold on, hold on to this guiding star because there was nothing else left to hold on to.

They reached the Tardis before long, the Doctor pulling out his sonic screwdriver to pull it out of safety. It reappeared before them, standing tall and proud. It seemed so much larger now, towering over the Doctor. It knew what he had done, what had been done to get to this point in time and it breathed happiness and disappointment all in one. The windows appeared as eyes to the Time Lord, as if judging him with grief and sorrow and pity. 

Without a second to think, the Doctor opened up the doors to the Tardis and led Jack and Wilfred inside. The doors shut behind them, closing them off from the horribleness that was this day. Now able to walk on his own, Jack followed the Doctor to the console, standing by his side as the time traveler quietly set into motion the coordinates for taking Wilfred home.

Jack watched as Wilfred slowly took a seat on one of the benches, watched as the old man watched the Doctor. He could see the turmoil in his eyes, could see the confusion of sadness and joy all at the same time. Jack could see it so easily because he too felt the same when he looked at the Doctor.

He’d liked to think he’d given the Doctor a new choice to make but in the end all he did was take it for him. He’d come back to stop the Doctor, to help him no matter what because he had the ability to shoulder the ultimate burden. 

He wanted the Doctor to see that, to see that what he’d done was right but Jack knew, somewhere in the depths of his mind, that it wouldn’t look like that at all. That it might have been the right thing to do but at what cost? But Jack would shoulder that burden too, because he was able to.

The Tardis boomed to life as it hurtled through space and time and before they knew it, it was parked outside, on a familiar street by a familiar house.

Silently, the Doctor looked to Wilfred and waited for the other to stand and make his way to the door. He followed, leaving Jack behind because that would have to wait. 

Wanting to speak, the Doctor couldn’t seem to find the right words to say. Words that hung in the ether around him felt as if they should be spoken but they didn’t quite exist. 

After a moment of awkward silence, the Doctor sighed. “Wilf-”

“Doctor.” Wilfred interrupted. “That man,” he began, nodding towards the Tardis, to the man inside. “I can’t quite say things are impossible around you because it seems that so many things can be possible. He saved your life.”

The Doctor made to interject but Wilf stopped him again. “I think we know each other well enough, one stubborn man to another, that we don’t always realize when others are truly helping us. Something tells me what he’s done was right for the wrong reasons but saving you-” For a moment, Wilfred forgot how to speak. He cleared his throat as tears sprang to his eyes. “I meant what I said on that alien ship, Doctor.” 

Any rebuttal died in the Doctor’s throat as he sighed, pressing his lips together in a tight line. Nodding, he glanced up to see Wilfred’s daughter step outside. She was smiling and it sent a wave of relief loose inside of him. If she was happy then all was well and that meant Donna was alright.

“I can’t say when I’ll see you again, Wilf but this won’t be the last.” The Doctor held out his hand, waiting as Wilfred gripped it with his own. A great good shake between friends. It lasted only a few seconds but the Doctor still felt the warmth from the other’s hand long after he’d turned and walked back into the Tardis.

The doors shut behind him and standing near the console, Jack waited and watched as the Doctor dragged his feet along the metal grate flooring. Neither could think of anything to say to one another so silence fell over them like a heavy blanket. 

The Doctor ran his hand along an edge of the console, slowly but surely making his way over to Jack. Without looking at the other, he cracked his knuckles and began to press buttons and pull levers. The Tardis lurched, chirping as it set course. 

Jack couldn’t take the quiet any longer and cleared his throat. “What are you doing?”

“Oh well, I figured we’d take a trip to the snowy mountains of Jardith in the Marla system.” His voice began to rise, the corners of his mouth lifting just a little as he forced what would usually come natural to him. “Three hundred years from now, the people of Jardith open up their entire planet as a resort. Rumor has it it’s just as big as The Library.” 

Flashes of the events of The Library scoured the Doctor’s memory. Visions of him and Donna running for their lives, visions of a mystery woman who knew too much sacrificing herself for the man she loved. It made the Doctor stop for a moment. He stopped pushing buttons, pulling levers, smiling. 

Jack took notice.

The Doctor took notice of Jack taking notice and he quickly shrugged off the past. “So!” He exclaimed, hopping to the left of the console. “I think we are due for a holiday so why not try out, oh what do the kids call it now? Glomping? No that can’t be it, oh! Glamping! Glamour camping, what a funny combination of words, bit of an oxymoron if you ask me.”

“Doctor.” 

Jack didn’t have to say much to get the Doctor to stop. He could hear it in Jack’s voice, the concern. He stopped hopping about but he couldn’t bring himself to look at the other just yet. He kept fiddling with something in front of him on the console. 

“Doctor, I know you might be angry with me but-“

“I’m not angry, Jack.” His voice sounded hollow even to his own ears. He looked up then, his eyes catching Jack’s in an invisible line. It didn’t feel like anger, not really. It sat around the edge of his emotions, lining a darkened pit that began forming in his stomach the moment Jack had run into the room. “I’m furious.”

The Doctor’s hand snapped to a lever, pulling it down and stopping the Tardis from moving. It was free range floating through outer space with no destination and for a moment Jack forgot to breathe. 

Hot rage burned from behind the Doctor’s eyes, a minute change that warped his look entirely. He could be shaking with fury but he only stood still, watching as Jack retreated into himself. 

“I could throw you out into space right now and no one would be around to save you.”

His words hit hard to Jack and he swallowed, suddenly aware he’d again forgotten how to breathe under that fiery gaze. “You wouldn’t.” He chuffed, trying to play off a smile he was forcing to give. 

Jack was nervous and the Doctor could tell. 

He moved towards Jack almost as if stalking his prey. Jack stepped back as the Doctor stepped forward and before either knew it, Jack had run out of room to step back into. 

His legs bumped against one of the benches and practically sent him falling into the seat. The Doctor came close, just enough to stand towering over the other man. Jack had a hard time remembering that the situation could be dire before his mind wandered away from sole fear into a mixture of feelings, one being arousal to name a few. 

The sight of the Doctor torn and bruised and utterly upset sent butterflies to burst within Jack. It was a powerful image. 

The Doctor didn’t have to yell to be dangerous. Sure it got his point across just fine but quietly and calmly he spoke to Jack and it sent shivers down his spine. 

“You saved my life but you weren’t supposed to. Someone had to have sent you and I’m assuming it was myself, except I would never ask someone to step into my own timeline, Jack.” Maybe once upon a time he would, but recent events set him straight, correcting the darkening tide that had risen not too long ago.

“You’re right.” Jack began, finding it difficult to form words. “You- you came to say goodbye.”

Silence hung in the air between them as the Doctor tried to work things out within his own head. In some other timeline he’d gone onward, gone to see Jack one last time and by doing so set Jack on his path. He hadn’t created a paradox though, as the events wouldn’t happen again, wouldn’t loop around. No, what Jack had done was split the timeline and create an entirely new one.

The Doctor couldn’t help but feel wrong standing here in the Tardis. He could feel the air around him tingle against his skin, as if rejecting him from time itself. His shoulders dropped, his sharpened gaze melting into sorrow. “How could you do this, Jack?” His voice sounded small, smaller then he’d meant to be. “You know better.”

Sighing and sitting up, Jack held back the desire to reach for the Doctor. “I had to. You’re too important.”

Words he’d been hearing his entire life, words that suddenly meant nothing at all. The Doctor whipped around and groaned, running his hands over his glass bitten face. “I am no more important than anyone else out there!” He yelled, walking back towards the console. “You’ve messed with time and now there’s no telling what will or won’t happen because of it.”

“Tough.” 

Jack burst from the chair, rounding on the Doctor. He tugged on his arm then, pulling him around to face him. “I don’t care.”

The Doctor tried to take his arm back but Jack’s hold on it was too strong. “You were selfish.” He said, eyes narrowing at the brunette.

“I don’t care!” Jack yelled, pulling the Doctor closer so he could really drive his point home. “People wonder everyday what their future holds, what decision is the right one, yes or no, left or right. But they make their choice regardless because in the end it's their own to make.”

“But you made that choice for me.” The Doctor’s fury was steadily rising once again. It had deflated a bit when he stood in front of a nervous Jack, but now it was bursting at the edge of his skin. “I know the future, I come from it. I know what is to happen or what doesn’t. What if by saving me you’ve condemned some planet somewhere I’m supposed to save?”

Jack struggled to find the words to say, it was too painful, but he spoke them anyway. “A- a friend of mine is dead.” 

Images of Ianto flashed through his mind, of their last words to each other. 

It must have shown on his face because the Doctor was no longer seething, no, now the Doctor was looking at him like all the others seem to look at him, as if his pain was reflecting onto their faces. 

Jack gently released the Doctor’s arm and sighed. “I couldn’t lose you too.”

The Doctor could hear the truth in those words, the never ending pain of loss that echoed along these walls and ended where the Doctor stood. 

“I would have lived, Jack.” He said quietly and calmly, no malice, no anger, only simple facts. “If I survived to say goodbye, I would have regenerated and continued on. Somewhere down the line you could have run into me again.”

“It wouldn’t have been you.”

The Doctor sighed and shrugged, all the fight in him from before slowly ebbing away. “It's always me, don’t you understand? I may have a different face but it’s always me and no matter what life I end up living, you’re as fixed in my time just as you are the anomaly of all time.” 

It was so logical yet so intimate, so the Doctor. So his Doctor.

Jack clenched his teeth, his jaw twitching under the rising tide of anxiety. “So what do we do now?” 

“Well,” The Doctor began, turning to restart their mission on the console. He could have doled out another logical response, mentioning things like timelines coinciding to fix the tangent, but when he peered over his shoulder back at Jack, at the look of hope and loss all mixed onto his face, he couldn’t bring himself to say much more then, “We visit Jardith and have a nice holiday.”


End file.
